geriatric legion marches

Geriatric Legion destroys Stroud!

Geriatric Legions turns Stroud into rubble!

Geriatric Legions turns Stroud into rubble!

So angered was the geriatric legion after what happened in Gloucester that they have destroyed Stroud as well. Where will it end… the humanity!

Geriatric Legion destroys Gloucester!

Geriatric Legions turns Gloucester into rubble!

Geriatric Legions turns Gloucester into rubble!

Sad news people. The residents of Gloucester put up a fight and annoyed the geriatric legion. The geriatric legion showed them no mercy and reduced the city to rubble.

Geriatric Legions Marching on Gloucester

geriatric legion marching on Gloucester

A geriatric legion has been sighted marching near Gloucester

It’s been a while since the last sighting, but apparently one has now been sighted near Gloucester. Not as big as some of the previous geriatric legions, but none the less a worry!

Geriatric Legions Marching on Dunstable

geriatric legion marching on Dunstable

A geriatric legion has been sighted marching near Dunstable

Not much is known about how big this geriatric legion is or what their intentions are. Unfortunately our reporter was cut off mid call. Our thoughts go out to you.. hope you made it.

Geriatric Legions Marching on Cambridge

geriatric legion marching on cambridge

A geriatric legion has been sighted marching near Cambridge

After rampaging around Churchill College Cambridge, an onlooker has noted they are currently punting down the River Cam before stopping for a cream tea.

All we can do is pray they have enough scones, cream and jam to satisfy the geriatric legion!

Geriatric Legions Marching on Cardiff

geriatric legion marching

A geriatric legion has been sighted marching near Cardiff

Brandishing knitting needles this lot look up for a skirmish. They have smashed up a few youth centres so far, and have chased the youths away.

If you are in the area, I’d get out the way of the geriatric legion as soon as you can!!

Geriatric Legions Marching on Sunderland

geriatric legion marching

A geriatric legion has been sighted marching near Sunderland

News flash. A geriatric legions was sighted marching towards Sunderland earlier today. Apparently they have some mercenary Geordie football fans with them, wearing black and white striped tops and sipping on the brown stuff. A passer-by overheard some of the mercenaries say “Lerruz flush them Mackem’s doon the nettie”, which I have been reliably informed translates from Geordie to English as “Let’s flush those splendid chaps from Sunderland down the Lavatory”.

 

Geriatric Legions Marching on St Ives

geriatric legion marching

A geriatric legion has been sighted marching near St Ives

 

Sighted just outside St Ives is a geriatric legion of approximately 1000 pensioners massing ready to march. They look like they mean business, and we’ve been told they are well supplied with hot beverages and rich tea biscuits.